Written by: Cindy Stewart
I have been cleaning closets and cabinets. Organizing and eliminating anything that makes me feel sad, mad, or yucky inside. This is my house, and it needs to feel like my house. Anything that provokes a negative feeling or thought must go. From now on nothing but happy, positive, lovely will be here. So, closets, drawers, cabinets must be cleaned. The four (4), yes, FOUR boxes of my “Grandma’s Stuff” on the top shelf of the spare bedroom that I have lugged around with me for how many years since she passed. (Oh, she passed in 1971 this is 2021) Fifty years! What? Are you kidding me? Seriously? In my quest to rid my home of all negatives I come to the Stereo Cabinet. It looks good on the outside. No one knows what lurks behind or why the cabinet must set out four inches from the wall.
Oh, the stereo cabinet I will start with a good dusting. There is the Wii with all the games, controls, accessories, along with a huge bag that sets next to the stereo cabinet. How long exactly has it been since ANYONE used this game? I dust the entire cabinet but inside I am thinking this needs to go. This is not even my Wii. I bought it for my ex-husband for Christmas when it was the latest rage. It makes me feel bad. It reminds me of one of the many Christmas’s that I went all out for him for Christmas and he ignored me. (Yucky feeling begins). I put it back in the cabinet but organize it. I will think about this because if I have a friend over to chat and they have kids it might be beneficial to keep. Selah.
Fast forward 3-5 days. I ask a friend if his son would like to have the Wii. He says, “ yes”. I gather it up and box it and set it next to the front door. All of it, I thought. Yeah! Another mess cleaned up, I thought. However, there was a RAT’S NEST of wires and cords behind the stereo. What a mess! (See exhibit # 1)
My friend picked up the Wii and sends me a text. “The Wii cords are missing. We can’t hook it up to the TV and the remote bar is missing.” Oh NO. I am going to have to clean up the RAT’S NEST! All of those wires, cords, plugs, cables are going to have to be my project. I think, “well maybe I can just pull the cabinet out and pluck the Wii cable out of the mess.” I need to make sure that I have the Wii cords. I pull the cabinet out from the wall and start looking.
I went back to the front of the cabinet where the Wii was setting maybe that would be a better place to start. I find 2 cords. One leads up the wall and is under the TV, this is the one that will make the remotes work. This one was easy. The other one is going out the back of the cabinet into the RAT’S NEST. More texts and pictures continue between my friend and I. Hum. No still missing the other cord. Oh dear, I have to dig into those wires, cables, cords, and plugs to find the other end of that Wii cord. I start unplugging things. I am not sure I am the right person for this job. Everything needs to be unplugged. Everything needs to be separated, sorted, untangled, untwisted, unwrapped. Getting one cord out of this mess was not going to be the beginning or the end of this project. I do not even see the Wii cord.
I send a picture of the RAT’S NEST to a dear friend of mine who has a GOD GIVEN ANNOINTING ON HIS LIFE for wiring. (BELIEVE ME THIS ANNOINTING DOES EXIST). He has an amazing ability to cut right through all the problems and straighten things out. It is ten p.m. He says, “I can come over right now.” Five minutes later he is at my house looking at the RAT’S NEST.
He says, “Everything has got to go. Clean canvas. We must disconnect everything and start fresh. We are going to move everything out of the cabinet and start over.” The TV, router, Roku, Phone, Stereo and of course the Wii cords.
We both start pulling cords and components out of the cabinet. Wires and cables fly all over the room. We pile parts on the floor and the couch and the fireplace. Empty at last! We find the missing Wii Cord. Now we must start putting this back together. The back needs to be put on this cabinet because there were so many wires when I bought it that I could not put the cardboard back on the cabinet. So, he puts the back on the cabinet first. This is going to make the cabinet stable instead of wobbly and weak. It is on gliders, so it is easy to move but not with the RAT’S NEST hanging out the back of it. I think, “Awh, STABILITY! Boy, that is what this cabinet needs…who am I kidding? That is what I need. My life has been in a blender and someone turned it on.”
So, the back goes on the cabinet and the cabinet has a newfound stability. Yeah!
We start putting the components back in the stereo cabinet one at a time.
He says, “NO Wait! First the TV, then the router, then the Roku.” My anointed friend reasons out the plan of action. He has a beautiful mind. I go the garage and get a box of cables and cords so that he will have his choice from the hundreds of unused cords in that box. I grab a bag of zip ties too because I have worked with this friend before and I know when he is done with this project it will be a beautiful sight to behold. He has an anointing for this! He is good! Very Good. Trust me.
We are working together he is running new cables and I am dusting everything he takes off the mantle and handing him zip ties. He has a seat behind the cabinet I have a seat in front of the cabinet. We put a component in and hand each other cords and cables through the little hole in the back of the cabinet. We begin to check the TV, the router, the Roku and I am typing in passwords while he is running more cables. So far so good everything is working. It takes about an hour and a half. (See exhibit # 2)
Notice not one wire is touching the floor? Notice the cords going up the side of the fire place all zip tied together? No knots, tangles, twists. No RAT’S NEST. All is well. Peace has entered the house. He smiles and says goodnight and leaves.
I sat down to ponder what just happened here. I feel a strange sense of peace and wellbeing. I feel like my life is much better now. I feel like the last horrible year is starting to lift and my life is starting to work again. This has been a very difficult year. But those cords being fixed just made me feel like I was going to be ok. I feel accomplished and refreshed and happy. I thank God for friends that will stop and come on a moment’s notice and help with my messes.
I have been asking God for the last year. What is going to happen to me. I am all alone for the first time in my life and a little fearful about the future. He keeps reassuring me that He has a plan and I am in it. He tells me to be still and know that He is God and His banner over me is LOVE. I take a deep breath for the first time in a long time and rest in Him.
The next night. I can’t sleep I think about that RAT’S NEST. I FEEL LIKE THAT RAT’S NEST.
I am thinking about thirty-five years of my life spent in a horrible marriage with a unbelieving narcissist. Thirty-five years of chaos, confusion, misunderstanding, bitterness, anger, knots in my tummy, headaches, 2 rounds of cancer. Thirty-five year of living with someone that will not be obedient to God and all the horrible effects of that type of existence. A non-believer can not be obedient to God. We lived twisted tangled up lives and now that he is gone my life still feels twisted and tangled.
OMG! The RAT’S NEST REPRESENTS MY LIFE.
I start praying. Lord, what do I have to do to be done with all these awful feelings? What do I have to do to be free from this horrible marriage and all the ugly tangled up inside of me because of it? My life feels like it is a mess just like those cords. How can I untangle all of the resentments and anger about the horrible suffering I have endured for so many years? How do I get free from all these messed up feelings?
GOD’S ANSWER TO ME:
Hang on to the WE CORD!
Disconnect the wrong WE CORD.
Give me the WE CORD. I AM THE RIGHT WE CORD.
I WILL CLEAN UP THE MESS. I WILL BE YOUR WE….YOU AND ME.
WE will untangle the mess that has been left.
WE will straighten things out.
WE make things right.
WE will make things peaceful.
WE will make all things new.
WE will build a new life for you.
WE will do it together…YOU AND ME.
HANG ONTO THE WE CORD.